Must familiarity breed contempt? Why does it seem so difficult to remain close and loving and joyous “until death do us part”? Is there a way to stay together and still keep relationships fresh and exciting and meaningful?
The illustration below comes from Hexagram 61, “Strengthening Integrity”, of The Toltec I Ching—
Image: A female warrior and a male warrior are seated on a woven reed mat. Behind them, the sun hangs suspended above a great pyramid. Their bearing and clothing show that they are people of great dignity and merit. They are jointly seeking advice from the creators and ancestors by consulting the divinatory instrument drawn on the ground before them.
The opening section describes the elements and action of the illustration. By warrior is meant a man or woman who uses their everyday experiences to recognize and defeat their own self-defeating reactions.
Interpretation: This hexagram depicts the way for allies to strengthen the warrior’s spirit in one another. The union of the female warrior and the male warrior symbolizes an alliance between individuals whose natures are complementary and mutually reinforcing. That they are seated together on the woven mat indicates that their alliance is based on a shared vision. That they are seated in front of the sunlit pyramid means that they acknowledge that they are descendants of great warriors who have gone on to live forever in the house of the sun. That they comport themselves as people of great dignity and merit means that they dedicate their lives to making both their ancestors and descendants proud. That they seek advice from the creators and the ancestors by consulting the divinatory instrument before them means that they honor and fulfill the ancient covenant between the visible and the invisible. Taken together, these symbols mean that you align yourself with others in order to transform your weaknesses into strengths.
This second section interprets each of the elements and actions of the illustration, explaining their symbolism. The focus here is on how people share a particular world view, especially one in which certain spiritual perceptions contribute to sincere good will toward one another. Such good will takes the form of willingly acting as the whetstone upon which the other hones the edge of their spirit.
Action: The masculine and feminine halves of the spirit warrior vigilantly treat one another with the respect, courtesy, and authenticity accorded great warriors. The skills and the knowledge of the old ways are of little value if they are not applied to present-day circumstances: in this sense, spirit warriors create relationships with one another in order to train themselves to live a balanced and harmonious way of life with the utmost integrity. As in every relationship, there are those who lead and those who follow—but among spirit warriors, these roles are extremely fluid and change constantly. One takes decisive action and another goes along, providing the utmost support. One moves in an indirect manner to increase harmony and good will, and another gives up the need for identifiable goals and concrete solutions. One challenges and another nourishes. One opens to new experiences and another gives up the need to control change. One takes on the role of the masculine half, another the role of the feminine half. One takes on the role of the feminine half, another the role of the masculine half. Back and forth, exchanging roles constantly, such allies face circumstances as a united front: moving along with things when appropriate, creating resistance to things when appropriate, they use circumstances to train themselves to apply the old ways with honor, sincerity, and integrity. Because you make yourself such an ally, you find such allies and bring great benefit to all.
The action of this hexagram revolves around the attitudes and behaviors that ennoble and solidify relationships: treating one another like great warriors instead of trivializing the relationship; maintaining a degree of formality beneath even the greatest intimacy rather than demeaning the relationship; and, shifting roles in response to circumstances rather than allowing one to dominate the other.
The forces at play here can be appreciated by analyzing the interaction of the trigrams making up this hexagram: Earth within and Water without, Fulfillment within and Mystery without. When I feel fulfilled personally and view the other person as ultimately unknowable, then I experience the other as a sacred mystery instead of taking them for granted and making light of their life and inevitable death. “Strengthening Integrity” corresponds to hexagram 8, “Holding Together”, in the traditional King Wen sequence.
Summary: Treat everyone as if they have a wise and immortal teacher within—and see everything they do as the teacher’s subtle strategy for testing the depth of your perceptions. Treat everyone with respectful intimacy, avoid informal familiarity. Treat everyone like a great warrior armed with spear and shield, don’t try to read others’ minds.
The text ends with a reminder that how we treat those closest to us should be how we treat all. When I treat everyone and everything as a shining manifestation of spirit, then my thoughts, words, and deeds will always shine like spirit reflecting spirit and echo like spirit calling to spirit.
Real allies spar with wooden swords. They never draw real swords. They never draw blood.
Help one another make the most of this lifetime and nothing will want to pry you apart.
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The Toltec I Ching, by Martha Ramirez-Oropeza and William Douglas Horden has just been released by Larson Publications. It recasts the I Ching in the symbology of the Native Americans of ancient Mexico and includes original illustrations interpreting each of the hexagrams. Its subtitle, 64 Keys to Inspired Action in the New World hints at its focus on the ethics of the emerging world culture.